


Stolen

by heyguysitsnicole



Category: Glee
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Blood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Graphic descriptions of both of those, Hurt/Comfort, I find this to be very unrealistic, I wrote this in MIDDLE SCHOOL, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, not so great writing, oh and blaine and kurt are the same age, they both go to mckinley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 08:59:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16446803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyguysitsnicole/pseuds/heyguysitsnicole
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have been dating for three months, and they've been exploring each other for two weeks. Kurt thinks he's ready for the next step, and he knows Blaine is, too. But then something horrible happens. Karofsky doesn't just kiss Kurt that day in the locker room, he rapes him. How will Kurt cope with what Karofsky did to him? And how will it affect his relationship with Blaine?***Discontinued; I wrote this in middle school, and it shows! Posting here just to consolidate my fics in one place (by all means read it if you want to but it's bad lol)***





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> My one and only note: I wrote this when I was in middle school and have not edited it, so expect mistakes and inaccuracies about everything.

Kurt's POV:

"Hey, honey," Blaine says, as I get into his car to go to school. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Finn woke me up at three am, stomping down the stairs and yelling what's for breakfast because he doesn't know how to use a clock," I reply, scowling. Blaine laughs and pulls into the school parking lot. I give him a peck on the cheek as we part ways, Blaine going to English, me, Biology. Unfortunately, my boyfriend and I only have two classes together-Calculus and glee.

I wave hi to Rachel and Mercedes as I walk to my locker. I'm not more than four feet away from it when I start to belidve that maybe today I won't get shoved into something before I open my locker. Then I find out I spoke too soon, for two meaty hands are shoving me into the locker right next to mine. I fall to the floor, looking up to see Karofsky and Azimio high-fiving and laughing as they walk into a classroom. Of course, I couldn't make it five minutes without getting bullied, and of course no one else noticed.

It was going to be a  _looong_  day.

* * *

"What the hell is your  _problem_?" I yell at Karofsky, running into the locker room after him. After he claims I'm trying to sneak a peek at his 'junk', or so he calls it, I slew insults at him. I can see him getting angry and very upset, but I can't stop. It's like everything that I ever wanted to say to him is finally coming out and it feels  _great_ to stand up for myself. After getting slammed into a locker yet again that day, I decided I was going to do something about Karofsky and his bullying.

And then, suddenly, Karofsky's hands are on my face and his lips are pressed against mine. I try to push him away, but he's far too strong. Finally, he stops kissing me, and steps back a little. I know there must be a look of dread on my face, but as I look at Karofsky's, I see it full of lust. And, then, within a matter of seconds, Karofsky has me pinned against the lockers, a hand holding both my wrists behind my back.

"David, I h-have a boyfriend," I say, trying to get him to stop. He laughs maliciously, and I cringe as he forces me to kiss him again. I whimper as the hand not holding my wrists behind my back grabs my ass and his tongue moves disgustingly into my mouth. "Please, Dave," I plead as he unzips my jeans and shoves his hand down my pants. "Stop."

"You don't really want me to do that, do you, Kurt?" Dave says, a masochistic smirk on his face. "I know you want me to fuck you hard. You wear those tight ass jeans and show it off everywhere, you were just  _begging_ to get laid, weren't you, Kurt? 'Cause you're just a slut. A flirt, a bitch, a  _whore._

I feel tears threatening to spill over as Karofsky then pulls my pants down and off me while pulling his shirt off. He starts stroking me again, and I start crying the first of many tears. "No! PLEASE, NO!" I yell, trying to get him to stop. He just silences me with another forced kiss as he takes the rest of our clothes off.

He shoves one, two, and then three fingers into my hole, and I cry out in pain. He rubs his dick against mine, trying to get me excited. All I do is cry more. As he starts to move his fingers in and out of me, I do the only thing I can think of, my last resort for help. I pray to anything that's out there.

_God, or whoever's out there, please help me. Please don't let David do this. Please help me! I'm so, so sorry._

I don't know why I'm sorry, just that I am. Maybe it's because I really am a whore. I  _was_  asking for someone to fuck me, wearing clothes like that. Maybe it's because I'm cheating on Blaine right now. Or maybe it's just because I'm sorry that it's my fault. That I got myself into this mess. I shouldn't have stood up for myself. I'll always be the victim and Karofsky will always be the bully. I just have to face that fact.

I try to scream as I feel the tip of David's cock against my hole. He slaps me hard on the face and then thrusts in fast and hard and painful. It hurts so much, and all I can do is cry. I'm helpless. 'I deserve this,' I tell myself. Because I'm a horrible person. With every thrust, it gets harder and the pain is just too much. This isn't how my first time was supposed to be. When I lost my virginity, it was supposed to be romantic and with Blaine.

Oh, God,  _Blaine_. What will I tell him? He'll probably hate me.

I scream out in pain as Karofsky pushes the hardest yet and comes inside me yelling, "Oh, fuck yes, Kurt. Holy shit!" He lets me go, and I slump down, sobbing uncontrollably. I try to get my clothes back on and get out, but Karofsky's in my way, and I'm definitely not trying to escape, for fear he might do it again. "If you tell  _anyone_ about this," He says, his breath hot against my face. "I  _will_  kill you."

Then he walks out of the locker room.

* * *

I ended up skipping last period and walking home. I wasn't in the mood to go to school. My eyes were red and puffy from crying, and I felt like I could break down any minute. Not to mention my ass is  _burning_  and my wrists are red and bruised from Dave holding them too hard. Once I reach my house, I slam the door closed and rush down to my bedroom. Unfortunately,  _everything_ reminds me of Karofsky. My clothes, which are far too slutty for me to wear anymore, my bed, where Blaine and I explored each other the night before, my laptop, covered in stickers for charities against bullying, gay rights groups, and rape prevention associations.

The only place I feel safe is my bathroom, where I decide to take a shower to wash neanderthal off me. I cleaned every inch of me I could reach, and stepped out of the shower , drying myself off. I  _still_ felt Karofsky on every inch of my skin, and in my frutration to get clean, I end up throwing a plastic containter of bath salts at my mirror, making it break into small pieces.

"Damn, it," I say, picking up the glass. I reach for another when one slips out of my hand and pricks the edge of my hand. I sigh in relief, as I notice that the cut has made me feel like myself again. Strong, confident, and like Karofsky hasn't touched me at all. I smile as I take a large piece of glass from in my hand. I position it above my wrist and cut shallow perpendicularly to the blue vein going to my hand. It feels like such a relief, so I cut myself three more times, then clean the glass and tuck it in my medicine cabinet for future use. I clean my wounds and then wrap them in an ace bandage I found in the cabinet.

When I was cutting, I was relieving myself of pain as well as punishing myself for being a whore and cheating on Blaine. I cut two more times on my other wrist, taking the glass out of the cabinet and put a normal bandage on them, since they're more shallow.

After I get dressed in my pajamas, I hear my phone vibrate. It's Blaine, but I don't bother answering. I'm far too tired to deal with interrogations right now. I realize it's only 4:30 as I look at my phone, but don't really care as I fall into a dreamless sleep.

For the most part.


	2. II

Kurt's POV:

_"No, Karofsky, no," I try to say as the man comes after me with a knife. He'd raped me again, and this time, I made the mistake of telling Blaine about it._

_Which is why Blaine is currently laying, naked and dead, on the floor behind Karofsky, still bleeding from multiple stab wounds. I don't know why I'm pleading with Karofsky. I have no reason to live; I'm a horrible and dirty person. The only good thing in my life is Blaine, and now he's gone. Karofsky laughs a cold, hard laugh and I see a glint of insanity in his eyes. I know I can't stop him from killing me. He warned me this would happen, that he would kill me if I told anyone._

_This is my fault. It's my fault Blaine was raped and is dead on the ground. I shouldn't have burdened him with my problems. It only got him hurt. Karofsky's now on top of me, pinning me to the ground. He has the knife wielded in the air, ready to strike and kill me in seconds. But before he does that, he punches me, in the jaw, the eye, the cheek. Anywhere he has access to on my face. He knees me mulitple times in a horrible place and then hits me in the ribs. I gasp for air as he punches my stomach and chest._

_"Please, stop. J-just kill me now," I manage to choke out. Karofsky sneers and then brings the knife down onto my chest._

I wake with a start out of my dream. Tears are already falling out of my eyes and the bed sheets are tangled in a mess with my legs. I must have thrashed around a lot with my nightmare.

At first, I don't know what to do, but then I remember what I have hidden in my medicine cabinet. I try to make as little noise as possible, as it's a Saturday so everyone in my house is probably still sleeping. I slowly open the door to the cabinet and pull out the shard of glass. I stare at it for ten seconds before bringing it roughly down on my wrist.

As I draw blood, I feel relief wash through me and I try to forget about the nightmare and Karofsky.I feel myself getting less and less stressed and anguished as I cut, alternating from wrist to wrist. Once I feel as if that's enough, I carefully wash out the cuts and wrap another bandage over them.

Then I remember I have a date with Blaine today and feel another bout of anxiety. I reach for the glass again. Since I no longer have room to cut on my wrists, I pull up my shirt and slice one, two, three times evenly on my stomach. Once again, I carefully tend to the cuts. Now, I can do anything. Including my date with Blaine tonight.

One thing was for sure, though. I could not tell my boyfriend about Karofsky. I couldn't tell anyone about Karofsky.

* * *

I cut myself again before Blaine got to my house. Surprisingly, I'm not nervous as Blaine hugs me and then sits down on the couch in the living room. "I missed you during Algebra yesterday," He says, curiously. "Where were you?"

"Uh, I had a headache so I decided to head home," I say. He nods, believing my lie. I hate lying to my boyfriend, but I know I have to for our safety, more his than mine. I press my cuts to my leg, recieving strength from the pain.

"So, whats for dinner?" Blaine asks. We decided to stay in tonight because we didn't want to see all the people giving us disapproving glares; we also didn't want to run into anybody from school. That happened once, and we didn't want it to ruin our date again.

"I made chicken parmesan, your favorite," I say. I'd decided to make Blaine's favorite to partially make up for me lying to him and cheating. I pull the steaming pan of Italian out of the oven and put a large helping on Blaine's plate.

"Mmm, smells, delicious. Thank you so much for making dinner, Kurt," Blaine says, licking his lips at the sight of my cooking.

"Oh, it was nothing. You know how much I love to cook," I say.

"Well, you know how much I love you," Blaine says, looking at me adoringly.

"I love you, too," I reply, blushing. And then his plate of food is ignored as he kisses me sweetly. I kiss him back, ecstatic that I can still kiss my boyfriend with what Karofsky did to me. I start to pull away, so Blaine and I can get back to our food, but he pulls me closer, deepening the kiss and sliding his tongue in my mouth.

And suddenly, Blaine's not the one who's kissing me,  _Karofsky's_ the one who is. And he chokes me with his tongue and scrambles to get my shirt off. It's all too much, too fast; maybe it wasn't before Karofsky happened, but its sure as hell is now. I shove Blaine off of me and race downstairs, quickly locking the door to my room and heading for the en suite bathroom. I scramble to get the medicine cabinet open and grab the piece of glass hidden there. I hear Blaine struggling to get the door open, hear him asking me what's wrong, but I don't care. All I care about is opening my flesh and getting Karofsky off me.

I know I shouldn't cut my wrists again because there's too much unhealed cuts there, but I don't care. I shove the sleeve of my shirt up and push the broken glass against my skin. I sigh in relief as it breaks skin. I couldn't face myself for lying to Blaine, I have to punish myself. I don't even know why he would want me; I'm far too imperfect. I cut more and more, deeper and deeper, until I hear Blaine break the door open. I cut at least four more times, trying to get the most of what time I have, but then Blaine is exclaiming 'Oh, my God,' and picking me up, forcing the piece of glass out of my hand and throwing it into the trash.

He carries me into my room and sits on the bed, holding me tightly. I start crying into his neck, and he rubs circles onto my back whispering sweet nothings to me. "It's okay, Kurt. You're okay," He says. I stop crying and try to make myself presentable. I get off of Blaine and walk back into the bathroom to assess to my wounds. I wash them with hydrogen pyroxide and then examine them to make sure they're not too bad. Some of them definitely need stitches, but I just put butterfly strips over them and make sure they stop bleeding. I turn to see Blaine watching me in the doorway, a few tears falling out of his eyes.

"Why, Kurt?" He asks, his eyes baring into my soul.

"Because I'm not perfect. You don't want me. I'm an inexperienced, unsexy, baby penguin. Cutting makes me perfect. When you kissed me, I just, God, I just needed to be perfect for you in that moment," I say. All of it's the truth, but not the  _whole_  truth.

"Come, here, Kurt," Blaine says, opening his arms up for me to go into. I walk up to him and hesitantly embrace him. "You  _are_  perfect, Kurt. You are a very sexy, very appealing grown man. Even if you are inexperienced. I love you for  _you_ , Kurt." He brings my wrist up to his lips and kisses each and every one of my cuts. "Promise me you'll stop, Kurt?"

_No_ , I think, but out loud I say, "Yes, Blaine. I'm sorry." I truly was sorry, but for being a weak, imperfect, cheating slut, who doesn't deserve Blaine.

"Okay," He says. "I'm never leaving your side tomorrow, or the next day or the next day. I will show you how perfect you are."


	3. III

Kurt's POV:

I groan as my alarm clock blares loudly at 5:30 am on Monday morning. I get up to do my morning skin regime and dread going to school today. Just as Blaine said, he didn't leave my side yesterday, except when I had to get to bed. Luckily, I didn't have a nightmare last night, but I have enough nerves about school to feel a burning in my wrists and stomach. I  _need_  to cut. I walk into my bathroom and pull the shard of glass out of the trashcan Blaine threw it in. Because Blaine was watching me all weekend, I hadn't had time to cut at all, and now it's like my body is craving for me to open my flesh and let out all the pain.

I sit on the floor and place the glass against my wrist, applying slight pressure until I break skin and draw blood. I feel so much relief as I cut three more times on both my wrists. There's not much more room on my wrists because of my self-inflicted wounds from Saturday that still need healing. I pull up my shirt and slice through my stomach, tugging, pushing, and pulling to get the skin to open. I punish myself for letting Karofsky take advantage of me. I punish myself for being such a slut; it's my fault that Karofsky was tempted by me and my fault alone. And I punish myself for lying to Blaine about what happened.

As I go to pick out my outfit, I remember what Karofsky said about my clothes.  _They_  were also what tempted him. I frown, but choose an old t-shirt and pair of sweatpants from my dresser and slip them on to wear today. Then, I walk out to drive myself to school.

* * *

" _What_  are you  _wearing_?!" Mercedes asks me, wide-eyed, staring at my outfit.

"Clothes," I say, but it lacks my usual finesse and sarcasm. I close my locker, without saying bye to a frowning Mercedes as I head to my science class.

* * *

Blaine's POV: (Mini A/N: Eeek! My first POV out of Kurt! :D)

The first thing I do when I get to Glee club is look for Kurt. I smile when I see him sitting in his usual spot and then go over to Mr. Shue and ask if I can start off by singing a song. He happily lets me and I stand in front of the Glee club in the middle of the choir room. "Hey, guys," I say. "This song is for someone really close to me, and I want him to know that he can come to me for  _anything_ , and that he's the most perfect guy in the world. So, here goes." As I speak, I look directly at Kurt. I nod to Brad and he starts playing the song.

_Made a wrong turn_

_Once or twice._

_Dug my way out_

_Of blood and fire_

_Bad decisions,_

_That's alright_

_Welcome to my silly life._

I look to Kurt and see him staring up at me in awe and surprise. I guess he's still on that thing about me not wanting him. On the contrary, sometimes I want him so bad it hurts. I love Kurt so much, and it kills me to see him in pain. It kills me to see him hurt himself. I feel horrible for not noticing him cutting himself. I just can't get it out of my head that he was in so much pain, hurting himself made him feel better.  _I_ could have made him feel better.

_Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood,_

_Miss 'No-Way-It's-All-Good',_

_It didn't slow me down._

_Mistaken, always second guessing,_

_Underestimated,_

_Look, I'm still around._

I stare at Kurt as I start the chorus, singing directly to him, letting him know that he is  _perfect._

_Pretty, pretty please!_

_Don't you ever ever feel_

_Like you're less than_

_Less than perfect!_

_Pretty, pretty please_

_If you ever ever feel_

_Like you're nothing_

_You are perfect_

_To me._

I pull Kurt up from his seat as I sing the next lines and dance and spin him around the floor for the rest of the song. By the end of it, I see he has tears in his eyes. I pull him close for a hug. He grips me tightly as he cries into me, saying, "Thank you, Blaine. I needed that  _so_  much."

Then, I kiss him deeply.

* * *

Kurt's POV: (Sorry for all the changes.)

I felt like myself when Blaine sang to me, like Karofsky never happened and I was wearing my tight designer jeans again. Like I was free. But then it all changed when he kissed me.

_Karofsky_  was back, and this time, he was more forcible than ever, pushing his tongue into my mouth from the start. I try to push away and I'm surprised when he actually lets go. I back up, feeling tears falling freely down my face. When I run into the wall of the choir room, I slump down to the ground, closing in on myself. I whimper slightly, trying to find a way out of the suffocating room.

And then suddenly, I'm back in the locker room.  _"Please, no. David, no!" I yell, trying to get him to stop sucking on my neck. He rips my jeans off and moves to suck on my cock. "DAVID, NO, STOP, PLEASE!" I scream, sobbing uncontrollably. "Please, don't," I say, quieter, as he starts fingering me roughly. "Stop."_

"Kurt, stop," I then hear, and suddenly I'm not in the locker room anymore. I'm in the choir room again, and Blaine is crouching above me, looking terrified. All of the glee club is behind him. Most look terrified or concerned.

"Blaine!" I exclaim, throwing myself into his arms. I start crying into his shoulder and he rubs my back soothingly.

"Do you want to tell me what that was about, sweetie? You don't have to if you don't want to, but I suggest getting it off your chest," Blaine says, looking at me concerned.

I let out a shaky sigh, knowing I was going to have to tell Blaine. "K-Karofsky... he he, um... in t-the locker room, he k-kissed me," I say, not looking into his eyes and keeping my voice low, so Blaine's the only one that hears. "A-and then, h-he r-r-r...," I drop my voice even lower. "He raped me, Blaine." I was watching Blaine's expression go from confused to fearful, and finally to infuriated.

"I'LL KILL HIM, KURT! I'LL KILL HIM!" Blaine yells, getting up abruptly and startling all of the New Directions. I get up even faster than him and put my arms on his shoulders, stopping him from going out to the football field and attacking Karofsky right now.

"No, Blaine, please don't. You can't," I say, hoping Blaine doesn't ask too much questions.

Unfortunately, I never get what I hope for because then Blaine says, "Why?"

I sigh and then lean down to whisper in his ear. "Karofsky... he told me that if I told anyone he would kill me." I see Blaine's face contort with rage and he slams his fist down onto a desk next to him. I see fear and confusion in most of the glee clubbers' eyes, as none of them had ever seen Blaine get violent before.

"Ugh, I swear I will punch the shit out of that motherfucker if he ever lays a hand on you again," Blaine says. Then, he walks out of the choir room and I turn to face the glee club.


	4. IV

I sigh as I face the rest of my glee club memebers. "I just, um, freaked out about something. Um, it was just something Karofsky did. He, um just beat me up a few days ago, no big deal. Blaine was just over-reacting," I say, hoping they believe my lie. Right now, all I want is my glass, to feel the relief of the sweet blade cutting through my skin, feeding me my strength and courage.

I press my wrist roughly against my thigh to feel some pressure as Puck says, "Kurt, that's terrible. The guys and I will beat the shit out of you if you want."

I feel fear race through my body and rush to tell Puck that he doesn't need to do that. "Oh, no, no, no. It wasn't that bad, honestly. I don't need you to fight for me."  _Especially not when he'll kill me if you do_ , I mentally add on. Puck rolls his eyes at me, but he doesn't argue further.

"Oh, my goodness, Kurtie!" Mercedes says, "That's horrible! I declare we  _all_  have a sleepover at your house on Saturday, including the guys. As a... cheer-up kinda thing." I hear a lot of yes's and see smiles after Mercedes' proclamation.

"Ok..." I say, skeptically, nervous about things that may happen. What if I have another nightmare? What if everyone ends up hating it? What if...

* * *

"Yo, Karofsky!" Puck yells down the hallway, Finn, Sam, and Mike behind him. Puck knew Kurt didn't want them to beat Karofsky up but he didn't listen. When someone hurts one of his boys, he hurts them back. Karofsky turns from his locker, sneering at the four boys.

"What do you losers want?" He says.

"We heard what you did to Kurt," Finn speaks up, standing confidently for his brother. Little did he know, Karofsky was infuriated by his comment, already devising a plan in his head on how to deal with his victim, Kurt. He lunges for Finn attempting to punch him in the face, but Finn was expecting the blow. Instead of getting hit, he steps out of the way, making Karofsky run into a locker, hitting his head. He turns around, and stares daggers into Finn, but before he can try anything again Puck slams his fist into Karofsky's face, hearing a crack! as he breaks his nose.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that, Puckerman!" Karofsky exclaims, rushing forward to get to Puck. Before he can do that though, Mike rushes forward and knees Karofsky square in the balls. Karofsky groans in pain and falls to his knees. The boys proceed to kick Karofsky until he screams at them to stop. "I'll stop fighting back! Jeez, just STOP IT!"

The boys laugh as Puck says, "That's what you get, jackass!"

All the while Karofsky thinks,  _I'll get him for this. Kurt will pay._

* * *

I cut myself five more times before I deem my stomach and arms too full to cut more. I move to my hips, slicing open the smooth skin outside my pelvis. The relief floods through my body, but not for long.

_Knock, knock, knock!_

I hear three loud knocks-more like bangs-on my front door before a "You better open this fucking door right now, faggot or else!" Fear shoots through my body as I hear Karofsky agrily yell at me from outside. There's no place to hide, run, anything. I'm trapped. Basically dead. There's more banging on the door, more shouting, more fear.

I quickly pick up the shard of glass and the bloody bandages before I pull my pants up and shirt on, not bothering with bandages. I scramble down the stairs as quickly as I can and open the door, revealing an enraged Karofsky. I hear myself give a little screams before I run up the stairs to my room. I hear David thunder up the steps and slam open the door.  _This is it. This is the end._  "Your friends say they know what I did to you, fairy," He says, smirking at me. He lunges for me and grabs me by the collar of my shirt. He pushes me up against the door and kisses me roughly. I whimper and he shakes me. "Shut up, fag. I know I told you I'd kill you if you told anyone, but then I got a better idea. I fuck you, you  _keep_  quiet this time, and then we'll see if I reward you with another fuck later."

_Reward?_

I shake my head no, but Karofsky slaps me in the face. I feel tears prick my eyes but blink them away. I will not let this bastard see me cry. "Please, David," I plead.

He smirks again and says, "You asked for it." Then he roughly pulls my pants down and shoves two fingers in my ass. I cry out in pain, and Karofsky laughs. I feel a tear fall down my face and don't bother hiding it this time. All because I'm a weak, worthless fag. I deserve to be raped.

I'm taken out of my thoughts when I feel another one of Karofsky's fingers shoved into me. "Please, stop. Please," I beg, but Karofsky just pushes in another finger. I see him pull his pants down and start screaming.

He roughly puts his hand over my mouth. "Shut up, homo. Keep quiet." I stop screaming and just cry as he shoves his dick in my ass. "Ohhh, Kurt," He moans, thrusting hard. All I do is take it. I know I deserve it. I lied to Blaine, cheated on him, and lied to all of my friends. I'm a dirty queer who doesn't even deserve to live.

_I wish David had killed me._

Karofsky thrusts harder and faster into me until he comes. "Fuck, Kurt. Oooh."

Then, he pulls his pants up, drops me on the ground, and walks out the door.

* * *

I sigh in huge relief as the glass slices through the skin on my hips, drawing blood. I cut there five more times and then slice through the skin in between my thighs, five times on each leg.  _Homo, fag, queer, cheater, slut, bitch, fairy, liar, whore, skank._ I listed everything I was in my head, cutting myself deeper for each example.

I finish, put the glass in my cabinet and clean myself up. I put a bandage over my hips, band-aids on some of the more shallow cuts, and a few butterfly strips on some deep ones.

Then I put on a pair of unsexy pajamas and fall into sleep.

I have the same nightmare again and wake up screaming the next morning.


	5. V

"What's wrong? Where's the fire?!" Finn bursts into my room, holding a bat in his hands defensively. I almost laugh at him, but then I think of why he thinks something's wrong.

"Nothing's wrong, Finn. I was just... I just had a nightmare. I'm fine," I lie, struggling to smile at my step-brother.

Finn looks at me, suspiciously, but then says, "Oh, okay. Well, if you need anything, just call."

"I will, Finn." Finn leaves the room and I throw the covers off me and rush to my en-suite. I open the cabinet and take out my relief. I press the blade into my hip, adding just enough pressure, tugging and pulling just enough to draw blood. I do so five more times on the same hip and then the other one.

"Kurt? You ready yet?" I hear Finn stomp down the steps, and near my bathroom.  _Shit._  He knocks on my door. "You okay, dude?"

"Uh, y-yeah, Finn. Fine. Just... go back upstairs, I'll be there in a sec," I say, scrambling to get all my clean-up materials out of the cabinet. In my haste, I drop the shard of glass in the sink, making it crack in several places. "Fuck."

"You sure, you're okay, Kurt?" Finn asks again.

"I'm fine, Finn, just LEAVE!" I yell at him impaciently.

"Jeez, dude, I just wanted to make sure you were alright," He says, sounding hurt. If I wasn't still uncharacteristically pissed off at him, I might feel sorry.

"I said I was fine, Finn! And don't call me dude!" I yell again. "Please, just leave," I say, in a softer, but still angry, tone.

Once I hear him clamber up the steps, I start tending to my wounds. I don't bother bandaging them, since most have already stopped bleeding. I put the glass and clean-up stuff back in the cabinet and go get clothes on.

* * *

After getting wierd looks from Finn in the car on our way to school and then suffering through English with neanderthals, I decided to do something I don't normally do-skip second period to go get the coffee I missed in the morning. So now, having drunk my grande nonfat mocha, I walk into school again feeling slightly less PMS-y. I begin to walk to my locker to get my stuff for third period when I notice Karofsky walking in a hallway extending off of the one I'm in. I pretend I don't notice and keep walking, hoping Karofsky doesn't see me. Of course, I never get what I hope for.

"Hey, Hummel!" He says, walking up to me. I try to ignore him, but then he says, "I miss you wearing your more flamboyant clothes. These ones don't flatter your ass." I feel his hand brush up against my said ass. I tense up and stop walking.

"Please, David, don't do this," I say, trying to put as much emotion in my voice as possible.

"Oh, you know you like it," He replies, with a devilish glint in his eyes. He pulls me into a nearby bathroom, one that I know is rarely used. I whimper as he pulls me, his grip far too tight. He opens the door and shoves me in. I feel a tear roll down my face as I realize that I can't stop the inevitable. I close my eyes, waiting for David to do something to me, but he doesn't. I slowly open my eyes to see him staring at me with a wicked smile on his face.

"David, I... please, just-" I start to say, but then he cuts me off.

"Take off your clothes."

I choke on my response, and David just laughs coldheartedly. "Wh-what?" I stutter.

"I said, take off your clothes!" He replies, angrily. "Obviously you fairies can't understand simple commands."

I cry more as I do what he says to do. "You're so sexy, Hummel." I watch as he takes off his clothes. I almost gag. "On your knees. Now, Hummel," He says.

"Please, Dave, don't make m-"

"Suck it," He says, shoving his dick in my face. I whimper, but do as he says, taking his dick in my mouth. He moans in pleasure. I try to pull back, but he just pushes my head further forward. I choke, but he doesn't notice. Eventually, he starts thrusting into my mouth, sounds of pleasure coming out of his. He pulls his dick out of my mouth, and I discreetly take my phone out of my pocket. David pushes me roughly on the cold, hard floor and then turns me over. He shoves his dick into me and I type numbers into my phone while he's distracted. Karofsky thrusts harder and harder as the phone on the other line rings and rings.

"Hey, baby," Blaine says on the other line.

"Help me," I whisper. "Get my dad, hurry!" I hear Blaine try to ask questions on the other end, but I cut him off with one word. "Karofsky." Then, the other line goes dead. I slip my phone back in my pocket and try not to concentrate on what's happening to me.

* * *

Blaine's POV:

I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I see that it's Kurt and answer it. He's lucky that I could answer it. I had to make a quick trip to my locker; otherwise I'd still be in third period. "Hey, baby," I say. I hear a wierd sound in the background... a sex sound. I start to say something to Kurt about it, but his next words make me stop.

"Help me. Get my dad, hurry!" He whispers.

"Oh, my God, Kurt, where are you? Why do you need help? What's-"

"Karofsky," Kurt says with a sob.  _That fucking bastard._  I hang up the phone and dial another number as fast as possible.

"Hello, Hummel Tire and Lube, how may I help you?" I hear Burt on the other line.

"Burt, it's Blaine. Kurt's in trouble. Come quick!" I say. I hear the shuffling of clothes in the background and realize Burt must be changing from his work clothes.

"You're at school, right?"

"Yeah, hurry!" I exclaim. Burt hangs up and I dial a third number.

"911, what's your emergency?" The operator says. Her voice is too fucking perky to be a 911 operator. It brings my mood even lower to know that no one really cares what my fucking emergency is. Especially not this perky daisy.

"I'm at William McKinley High School in Lima; my boyfriend's in trouble, probably being raped," I say, urgently. I hear the woman on the other end say, 'Oh, my God' before she can stop herself.

"Okay, just stay calm," The lady says, even though I can tell she's not. "I'll send an ambulance and some police, okay?"

"O-okay," I say, trying to stay calm.

"Do you want me to say on the line, sweetie?" The woman asks. I say no and hang up. Then I realize that I have no idea where Kurt is.  _Shit_. I start thinking of ideas of where someone would fucking rape someone in this school when my eye catches a door. A door to a bathroom that no one uses. I don't know why I know, but I do. I know that Kurt and Karofsky are in there.

I start making my way to the door, but then the bell rings and I can't, due to swarms of teenagers all around. I hear the mains doors open and see burt followed by two cops and two EMTs walk in. Burt sees me and heads over. The swarms of teenagers that were blocking my way suddenly all quiet down and watch, lockers and books untouched.

"Where is he?" One of the policeman asks.

"I think he's in there," I say, pointing to the door. I follow them as they walk to it. They push it open and I see Kurt on the floor, currently with Karofsky in him. I rush forward and shove Karofsky off him. I see Karofsky scramble to get his clothes on. Once I make sure Kurt is okay with Burt, I stand up.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" I yell at Karofsky. He looks up at the police in fear and turns to me. I see that a lot of the students in the hallway are now gawking at the scene unveiling before them.

"Your fairy boyfriend deserved it, homo," Karofsky sneers. I feel rage take over my whole body and lunge for Karofsky. Burt holds me back, but doesn't stop me from yelling at him.

"NO ONE DESERVES TO BE FUCKING RAPED, YOU BASTARD!" The cops to my right pull Karofsky up and I see one of them handcuff him. They both look at him in disgust. The EMTs are now tending to Kurt. I hear them talking about getting Kurt onto a stretcher, after I see him struggling to get up. Then I hear another familiar voice.

"What is going on here?!" Principal Figgins asks.

"I'll tell you what's going on here," I say. "Karofsky here, has raped and bullied Kurt." I see Principal Figgins eyes goes wide in surprise and then they turn angry.

Then, Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury shuffle through the group of kids. "Oh, my gosh!" Ms. Pillsbury exclaims. I see her start crying as the EMT comes back with the stretcher. I notice that Kurt has been covered up, thankfully, and I run over to him.

"Kurt, baby, can you hear me?" I ask him, kneeling down next to him and the EMT. He nods. "I am so,  _so_  sorry this happened to you. I should have protected you more, I should have been there for you."

I see Kurt try to talk, but he only gets out a few stammer before bursting into tears. "We gotta get him to the hospital," An EMT says. I nod and let them put Kurt on the stretcher.

"Wait," I hear Kurt say as they start to wheel him out. "I want B-Blaine."

"That you, kid?" One of the EMTs says. I nod. "Unfortunately, non-family members aren't allowed to see rape victims when they go in for examination, but you can talk to him now. Probably see him after school."

I nod and then move to stand next to Kurt. I take hold of his hand. "What is it, Kurt?"

"I... I love you," He says. I feel tears prick the edge of my vision, happy that at the end of this terrible thing Kurt still loves me, even though I didn't protect him, didn't save him from Karofsky.

"I love you, too."

Then, the paramedics leave the school, the cops and Karofsky not far behind, all getting stared at by gawking teenagers as they passed.


	6. VI

Blaine's POV:

I stood in the bathroom for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few seconds. Principal Figgins walks in towards me and says, "Come on, Blaine. Let's get you to class."

I start walking with him before I do a double-take. " _What?!_ " I spit at him, venom seeping off my tongue. The teens who were going about to their next class, whispering anomatedly to each other about the incident, stop to stare again.

"Excuse me?" Principal Figgins stops to look at me.

"My boyfriend has just been raped by someone who's been bullying him for years, and you  _assholes_  expect me to go to fucking class? That's fucking low, even for you, who didn't even do anything when that bastard threatened to fucking  _kill_  him because of his wardrobe choices!"

Mr. Figgins looks around nervously at the gawking students. "Why don't we take this to my office?" He says.

"No. I wanna do this right here," I say, glaring at the man.

"Blaine-"

"SHUT UP!" I yell, making my watching peers jump. "Let me say  _one fucking thing_! My boyfriend has just been fucking physically and sexually assualted and  _raped_ , for Christ's sake, and you expect me to do nothing about it? Well, I don't think I'll do that."

"Mr. Anderson, you heard the man. I highly doubt that they'll let you in to see Mr. Hummel at the hospital."

"I don't care about that. I'll wait as long as it takes for them to let me in! But before I do that, I think I'll go have a little chat with Karofsky," I say, words of what I'll say to the bastard already popping into my head.

Aside from the quiet "Mr. Anderson" from Figgins, no one tries to stop me as I walk out of the school.

* * *

As I pull into the Ohio State Penitentiary, I smile. Karofsky's in there, locked up right now.

I'd gone to the Lima Police Station, and they'd told me that adult rape cases go to the state and that since Karofsky is eighteen, he could get tried as a real criminal. It brought me great joy to hear that. Of course that also means that Kurt's going to have to stand up in front of a room full of strangers and repeat what the jackass did to him.

I walk into the jail and walk up to a counter. There's a lady there that looks far too sweet to be working in a place like this. She looks up at me with bright but confused eyes. "Are you lost, sweetheart?"

I almost laugh. "No, ma'am. I'm looking to talk to David Karofsky."

"Okay," She says, happily. I want to punch her. How can she be so perky when she knows what all these bastards locked up in here have done? I don't think it's fair for other people to be happy when the person I love most is miserable, a victim of rape.

Why couldn't it be me? I think. Kurt would be so much better off if Karofsky had wanted me, had done this horrible thing to me. He wouldn't be living with the pain and guilt (though he has no reason whatsoever to feel the emotion) of what Karofsky's done to him.

"I'm not sure if we can allow him company. Those accused of rape are usually to dangerous for us to let civilians see. Unless, of course, they're blood relatives," The woman at the counter says, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Please let me talk to him.  _Please_. My boyfriend was the one he..." I trail off, not able to say the word again.

The woman looks at me sympathetically. "Okay. I'll get him for you. John," She says to an officer walking in from the main door. "This young man wouold like to speak to Dave Karofsky." The man nods an walks out of the room. Then the woman leads me to a seperate room full of metal chairs and tables. Some people are in it, talking with handcuffed people. "You can sit anywhere," The lady says. "He'll be in in a minute.

"Thanks."

I sit down at the table closest to the door. There's two officers gaurding it, so if Karofsky does anything, I'll get them to handle it. After sitting for about a minute and a half, the door opens and in walks Karofsky, handcuffed, with the cop from before. He leads Karofsky to me and handcuffs one of his legs to the table. I see that the other criminals in the room don't have that, so I know they must be taking extra precautions with Karofsky. Justice is served, you bastard, I think.

"Don't try anything," The man says.

"Anderson," Karofsky snarls at me.

"Let's just cut to the chase here, " I say, glaring at him.

"What's that? You here to tell me to stay away from your fairy boyfriend? Cuz he was asking for it. You weren't putting out, so I gave him the sex he wanted. I'm locked up for rape and I keep telling 'em, it ws totlly consentual-"

"No, it wasn't!" I say.

"Oh, please. He totally wanted it. Teasing me with those tight-ass jeans."

"THOSE WERE FOR ME, YOU ASSHOLE! I'M HIS BOYFRIEND!" I yell. A few people look up to see what's happening. "BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT SINCE YOU FUCKING RAPED HIM! OH, AND OF COURSE HE WANTED IT . THAT'S WHY HE WAS CRYING, TRYING TO GET YOU TO STOP. AND WHY HE CALLED ME CRYING FOR HELP!" I move to punch Karofsky right in the jaw when the door opens again. I recognize Mr. and Mrs. Karofsky from school events.

They walk up to where we sit, and Dave's dad says, "David, why are you here?" His mom looks to me with questioning eyes.

"It's nothing, guys," He replies, not metting their questioning gazes.

"Go on, David. If it's nothing, you can tell them, right? But first, let me tell them something," I say to him. Then I turn to his parents. "David is gay. Or at least questioning if he is. And as much as I despise him I really hope you accept that about him. There. I just made it one hundred times easier for you, Dave." As much as I hated people getting outed, I knew that Karofsky would never tell his parents what he did.

"Of course we do. Dave is our son, and we love him no matter who he loves," Mrs. Karofsky says.

"So, will you tell us, Dave?" His dad asks.

"They think I raped someone."

I hear Karofsky's mother gasp, and then I say, "We  _know_  you raped him, Karofsky." I turn to Karofsky parents. "You know Kurt Hummel, my boyfriend and the boy Dave threatened to kill last year because he wore a quote 'faggy ass kilt?' Dave raped him. And I know he did. The police, Kurt's dad, and I walked in on it," I say in disgust. "And we know it wasn't consentual because he ws crying and trying to get Dave to stop. And Kurt called me saying, 'Help.' I know he's been having nightmares. And he tries to hide his bloody pants from me, but I've seen them."

Mrs. Karofsky is crying. Mr. Karofsky is glaring, hatefully, at his son. "I can't believe you, Dave," He says, disappointedly.

"He's lying, Dad! Who are you going to believe? You're son or  _him_?" Dave says.

"You're no son of mine," His dad replies. Dave's parents leave.

I decide to leave, too, and go see Kurt at the hospital. I got my confrontation and more.


	7. VII

Kurt's POV:

I flinch as the door closes loudly. "Sorry about that," a doctor says as he walks towards me. "Hi, Kurt, I'm Doctor Ryan Smith. I'll be taking care of you while you're here."

I hope I'm not here long. I hate hospitals, and for good reason! I was stuck in one for days with doctors telling me 'Mommy will get better don't worry.' They lied; she never did get better. And then my dad had a heart attack and I had to sit in one and wait for him to die, just like my mother. Except he did get better. Plus, I was dying to feel the relief of the blade, slicing through my skin, making the pale white of it speckled with the red of my beautiful blood.

"So, let's take a look, shall we?" Dr. Smith says, snapping on gloves. I shudder. I don't want anyone to 'have a look.' Dr. Smith starts to pull up the hospital gown that was given to me.  _No, no no,_ my mind shouts at me. I pull my knees to my chest, restricting him further access. He sighs. "Kurt, if you don't let me see, I can't help you."

I let out a shaky breath. "C-could I maybe have a, um, a female d-doctor?"

"Oh, of course! The nurses should have scheduled you for a female doctor. I should have known you'd be uncomfortable with a man. I'll get Dr. Reynolds in right away." I sigh in relief. I know I wouldn't have been able to tolerate Dr. Smith doing 'that.'

I wait a few minutes before I see and African American woman with delicate features walk through the door. She smiles at me invitingly. "Hello, Kurt." She has a welcoming, melodic voice, and I can tell I'll like her. "I'm Dr. Ann Reynolds, you can call me Ann, Dr. A, whatever. I know you won't be staying here long, probably just one night, but knowing that won't make this any more enjoyable for you. I'm really sorry, but we'll have to start the examination now. We need to know the damage done to your body," Ann looks at me sympathetically. "I'm really, really sorry. I must do this, Kurt. It's protocol. Can you please lift up your gown?"

 

She did a rape kit as quickly but thoroughly as possible, but that doesn't stop me from panicking and crying the entire time.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. Things  _will_  get better, I promise."

* * *

Blaine's POV:

I see Burt and Carole sitting outside of Kurt's room. Carole's face is pink and her eyes are puffy from crying. Burt looks angry.  _Really_  angry. I hear whimpers coming from inside the room and know Kurt's the one making them. I sit down beside Carole before a woman comes out of Kurt's room. I look at the woman, who gives me a sympathetic look back.

She walkes up to us and puts her hand in front of Burt. He shakes it and then she does the same with Carole and then me. She introduces herself as Dr. Ann Reynolds but told us we could call her Ann or Dr. Ann, or whatever we want that doesn't stray far from her real name.

"So, you probably want to hear about your son and... brother?" She says looking at me, questioningly.

"Boyfriend," I correct her. She gives me another sympthetic look and then nods.

"Well, before I start, I'm going to say that I think you have a remarkably strong son. Kurt is incredibly brave and I myself look up to him. I'm giving you my number, so if any of you need to talk, just call. Now, about the physical damage to your son. He has minor external bruising of the anus," I flinch at the word. "And major internal bruising. I'm prescribing some pain medications and anti-depression meds as it's obvious he's been self-mutilating. For the emotional pain, I recommend him seeing Cythia Philips, a counseler I know very well. I recommend he go to her twice a week until Cythia says something about making it once, and then eventually none. We will be keeping him on twelve hour suicide watch because of his self-mutilation. I've collected a rape kit, which will be sent to the police accordingly. Thank you so much for supporting your son throughout all of this and for who he is. You all may go see him now, if you wish."

"Thank you so much," Carole says. I let out a shaky breath.  _This is it,_ I think, as I walk into the room behind Burt and Carole. Kurt's laying on his bed, wearing a hospital gown; I know he must really be injured, physically and emotionally, if he allows that to be worn by him.

His face.  _Oh, God, his beautiful face_ , is now red from crying. I see purple bruises in the shape of fingers across his cheek and more along his neck. I see some of them are bite marks and want to punch something.

_What gave Karofsky, that bastard, the right to do that to my perfect Kurt?_

"Blaine?" I hear Kurt question from his bed, breaking me out of my stupor. I realize that I've been standing in the same spot for at least five minutes. I'm able to get my feet, which felt glued to the spot, to move to Kurt's bed. I pull up a chair on the opposite side of Burt and Carole and sit down. I don't touch Kurt, not even to hold his hand, in case he doesn't want it.

Burt's the first to talk. "So, bud, how are ya feelin'?"

"Hurt, used, violated.  _Angry_ ," Kurt replies, voice cracking on the last words.

"It's perfectly fine for you to be angry at Karosky, Kurt. What he did to yo-" Carole starts, but Kurt interrupts.

"I'm not angray at Karofsky," He says.

"WHAT?!" Burt and I exclaim at the same time.

"I'm angry at myself. Because I deserved it."

" _No one_ , especially you. deserves what Karof-"

"Yes I did,  _Blaine_. I deserved everything he gave me. Because I'm a cheap, dirty whore, who only deserves to be fucked. I'm just a  _fag_  who happens to be lucky enough to have had someone willing to do to me what every good slut does, get fucked. I mean, if I didn't deserve it for being a whore, I did because I'm a fucking fairy, who's going to hell. I wouldn't be surprised, Blaine, if you walked out of here right now because you realize I'be been used, that I'm only damaged go-"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY YOU'RE DAMAGED GOODS, KURT HUMMEL!" I shout at him. "You are  _not_  a whore or a slut! Your only purpose is  _not_ to 'get fucked!' You are  _not_  going to hell and your  _most definitely not_  damaged goods because of what that bastard did to you! Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, you are the most beautiful, kind, caring, interesting, smart, funny, and  _un_ -slutty person I've ever met. No one should have to go through what you've had to go through. Sex is supposed to be consentual on  _both_  sides of two loving people, not what Karofsky, "I spit the name out with as much hate as possible on my tongue, "did to you, Kurt. You are fucking phenomenal and don't you ever forget it. I love you more than I love air.  _No_ \- I love you more than I love bowties.";

By the end of my speech, both Kurt and Carole are crying. Kurt throws his upper body into me. "I l-love you, too," He says between sobs. "So you still want me?"

"Of course I still want you, baby. I will never stop loving you."

We btoh pull apart from the hug as Burt starts talking. "So, I wanted to talk about your cutting, Kurt."

Kurt tenses. "Yeah?"

"You can't do it anymore. I'm not letting you have any sharp objects, not even a butter knife at dinner."

"No, dad,  _please_  don't take it away! I  _need_ to cut, you don't understand! Cutting is what makes me perfect, what makes me strong!" Kurt argues, tears in his eyes.

"Kurt, I'm helping you. Cutting doesn't make you strong, it hurts you and other around you," Burt says, trying to reason with his son.

"But, dad! Cutting helps me get through everything! I do it when..." Kurt doesn't finish his sentence.

"When  _what_ , Kurt?" Burt asks, getting frustrated.

"When I have nightmares," Kurt replies, in a small voice, curling in on himself.

Burt gets less tense, and says, "Well, what can stop you from having nightmares?"

"I-I don't know, dad, I-I'm sorry."

"Um, Burt, sir," I say, turning on the charm, calling him sir like back when I first met him. "Um, I think it might help Kurt if I slept near him. It... it doesn't have to be in the same bed, just the same room, so I can comfort him after he has a nightmare. And, um, I don't think my parents will mind because they're in Florida for work right now..."

"Would that help you, Kurt?" Burt asks his son. I'm surprised because I didn't think he would actually let me stay with the family.

Kurt only nods meekly, but it still makes me smile slightly. "Okay then," Burt says, "How about we get your stuff tommorrow when Kurt gets released, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I say. Then, I hear the door open and close very loudly. Kurt flinches and whimpers. "Shh, honey. It's okay." I turn to look at who it was that was at the door. It was only Finn, eating a sandwhich.

"Sorry," He says, mouth full.

"It's okay, Finn. How about you just... sit down over here," I say, pulling up another chair next to me.

"Okay." He sits down and then looks at Kurt. " _Dude_ , what happened to your arms?" He asks, gawking at the scars and cuts along Kurt's arms and wrists.

Kurt tenses again and I see a tear fall out of his eyes. " _Finn!"_  I hear Carole scold the boy and then explain to him why Kurt had his arm injuries.

"Oh, my, God, man. I'm so sorry," Finn says, actually looking solemnly sorry.

"I-it's okay," Kurt says, sitting up more. "Hey, um, how about you and Carole and Finn go down to get some dinner from the cafeteria? I know Finn already has his, but maybe you could get me some?"

"Oh, uh, yeah sure, what do you want?" Finn says, looking surprised that his step-brother trusted him in getting him food.

"Just a salad, okay?" Kurt says.

"What about Blaine?" Burt asks, getting up from his seat.

"Can I, um, talk alone with Blaine?" Kurt says. I wonder what he wants to talk about, but I don't say anything yet.

"Oh, okay. Well, um, see ya later, Kurt. Blaine," Burt says as he, Carole, and Finn exit the room.

"So," I say, turning to Kurt, "What did you wanna talk about?"

"I, um, I was wondering if, you, um..." Kurt says, not looking at me.

"Kurt, you can ask me anything, tell me anything. I love you," I say, looking at him with all the love my heart has to offer him, even though he wasn't looking.

"I want you to kiss me." I'm taken back by his request, as I expected him to not want to kiss me for at least a week, maybe more. "I just... I  _need_ to feel something, something other than his lips on mine. I feel like they're tainted right now, with bad, with  _him_. I want to replace the bad memories of him kissing me with good ones."

"That makes sense. Okay, well, um..." I say, awkwardly. I lean in slowly, waiting for Kurt to do or say anything that displays him not wanting me to do this. Soon enough, our lips our touching. I feel the usual sparks whenever I kiss him, but this time there's something more in the kiss. I feel, if possible, more love put into the kiss, by me and by Kurt.

At first, Kurt doesn't respond to the kiss, but then, he's kissing me back hungrily, eager for more. When I feel his tongue against my bottom lip i don't hesitate to give him entrance, but soon I pull back, knowing that what we did was perfectly enough for Kurt. He looks surprised at how he responded to the kiss, but also happy. Truly, genuinely  _happy_. I feel pride in my heart for knowing that I did that to Kurt.

"Thank you," He says. "That was perfect."

"I love you," I say.

"I love you, too."

Soon, Finn, Carole, and Burt are back with food. After eating dinner, a nurse comes in the room and says visiting hours are over. Reluctantly, I get up to leave.

"Blaine, will you kiss me again?" I hear Kurt ask from his bed. I see Burt give Kurt a surprised look and smile. I walk over and kiss him sweetly on the lips before. "Love you," He says afterwards.

"I love you, too," I say. "You sure you're gonna be okay tonight?" Kurt nods and I walk out the door.

Burt, Carole, and I decided that it would just be easier for me to stay at the Hudmels house tonight so that we could all drive to the hospital tommorrow together and save me the hassle of driving. Once I settle in bed (Kurt's bed, might I add,) I quickly fall asleep, but not before I register the feeling that something is wrong that's lodged tight in my stomach.

* * *

_Rrring! Rrring! Rrring!_  The distinct sound of a telephone ringing wakes me from my slumber, and I'm quickly wide awake. The sense that something is wrong is still present, but this time it's more intense, stabbing me in the gut instead of just resting there. I hear Burt get up from his bed.

"Somebody better be dying," He says. Then, I hear him mumbling into the phone. His tired voice soon turns to worry. I quickly get paranoid and get up to see what's happening.

"Yes, I'll be right over. Thank you, doctor," I hear Burt finish the call, a sense of urgency in his voice. I immediately start worrying and walk over to him.

"What's wrong? Is it Kurt? Oh, my God, it's Kurt. Shit, shit, shit," I say, not letting Burt get a word in. I have this thought in the back of my head that it's not Kurt, maybe it's some other doctor calling in the middle of the night, not Kurt's, but I know that's not the case.

Burt looks at me with worry in his eyes. "He was having a nightmare. They heard him screaming all the way from the nurses' station. When they got to him, he started having a panic attack. They need someone there right away." I barely listen to Burt after my mind registers that  _Kurt was having a nightmare_. All I could think was,  _Go there, help him, don't let him down, go, go, go._

"Please, Burt, can I go?" I ask him. I know tears are threatening to fall from my eyes, but they're the least of my worries right now. Burt sighs.

"I suppose. Let me drive you," Burt responds. I envelope him in a quick hug before rushing out the door and into his car.

* * *

A nurse opens the door to Kurt's room for me. "Dr. Reynolds is in there now, trying to calm him down."

I walk in and see Dr. A (that's what I had taken to calling her) sitting down in the chair Burt was sitting in earlier. She was saying things to Kurt. Oh,  _Kurt_. He was hyperventilating and tears were streaming from his eyes, which were bloodred and puffy. He was kicking his feet, tangled in a mess of his sheets, saying, "No, please, don't hurt me. I'll do anything, just stop!" My heart instantly broke for him in that moment.

"Blaine, oh, thank goodness you're here," Dr. A says from his bed. "I'm trying to calm him down without having to use any medicine that would keep him here longer. Can you just go over there and talk to him, mutter words of encouragement and love?"

I do as she says and sit in the chair I was in earlier. "Hey, Kurt. It's Blaine. Look at me, love. Snap out of this. No one's hurting you, you're just having a nightmare. C'mon, Kurt, I know you can do this. You're so strong and beautiful, Kurt." The sound of my voice seems to calm Kurt down as he quickly stops hyperventilating. He sheds the last of his tears and is now just hiccuping every once in a while. He throws his arms around me.

"Blaine," He says. "Thank you  _so_ much. I love you."

"I love you too, dear."

"Um, sorry to interrupt boys, but, Kurt, you should get back to sleep, okay? Blaine can stay here, if you'd like," Dr. A says, standing up. "You got out of that so well, Kurt. You're so strong." Then she exits the room.

"Do you want me to stay?" I ask Kurt. He nods, and I make a makeshift bed with two chairs. It's not much, but it'll do.

"Oh, don't be silly, Blaine," Kurt says, scooting over. "Come sleep in the bed." He pats the spot next to him and i don't hesitate to get in. I wrap my arms around him and he buries himself in me. He sighs contentedly.

I don't fall asleep until I make sure the steady rise and fall of his chest is one of a peaceful sleep.


	8. VIII

Kurt's POV:

"Ooh, Blaine! Look at that scarf!" I say, pointing into a nearby store. I had gotten out of the hospital earlier in the day, and Blaine took me to the mall to get my mind off things. We had shopped in most of the women's clothing stores to get me new pants... for obvious reasons.

I haven't gotten the chance to cut and my wrists, stomach, and thighs are burning with the loonging for it. I'm practically aching for the release of a blade on my skin. After my nightmare last night, I had dreamt of glass, knives, razors cutting, slicing, breaking through skin. Breaking through all of my problems, all of my weaknesses. The blades fed me strength,  _courage_. I dreamt of my thick, red blood staining my pale complexion. I dreamt of Blaine and my dad  _encouraging_ me to cut. Oh, what a wonderful dream it was. Too bad dreams never come true.

After buying the scarf, Blaine and I go to the food court. We go to the healthiest of our choices and get a sandwich to share. JUst as we sit down, I hear familiar laughter. I look up to see Azimio and his band of neanderthals. I sink down low in my seat.

"Just ignore them," Blaine says, looking over cautiously. Now that I've noticed Azimio, I notice everything else around me. I see the hesitant glances, hear the whispers.  _'That's the boy who was raped.' 'Oh, that poor child.' 'Filthy faggots.'_ I try to ignore them, as well.

"Aw, man, look who we have here! If it isn't lady-faced Hummel and his  _boyfriend?_ " Says one of the neanderthals. The group walks up to me and Blaine, and I look down.

"Hey, slut," A different one says to me. I feel tears spring to my eyes, and look up.  _Damn, I need to cut._  "Aw, is the little faggot gonna cry?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Blaine says, angrily. "What is your problem?"

"Well, your faggy ass boyfriend raped Karofsky!" The boy replies. I gasp and the tears start falling. Blaine jumps up in anger.

"WHAT?!" He shouts. I pull him back down into his seat. The last thing I need is for Blaine to get into a fight because of me and get hurt.

"You can't believe that this whore didn't want it! Karofsky's the straightest guy I know. I just think you framed him for it, you filthy rapist!" A third neanderthal says to me. I'm trying to stop crying, but I can't. I  _need_ to cut. It's the only thing that will give mehappiness now. Or ever. All of the neanderthals are taunting me now, calling me slut, bitch, whore, flirt, lady-boy, fag, anything.

"Guys,  _stop._ You weren't there when Karofsky was arrested.  _I_  was. Kurt didn't want what he was getting," Surprisingly, Azimio is the one who defends me. The urge to cut is still there, but I crying and look up at him. He's looking at me like I'm some, some superhero or something. God, I wish I was. Then I could have stopped Karofsky, and none of this shit would have ever happened. But I guess Karofsky  _did_  make me realize something-he made me realize how disgusting I am. He made me realize that I'm holding Blaine back. He made me realize how slutty I can be, how whorish, flirty, and worthless I am. He gave me cutting, the only joy the world has to offer me anymore.

"What the hell, man?" A neanderthal asks. "You've gone soft! C'mon guys, let's leave Azimio and his lady friends." The neanderthals leave. Now, all I want to do is go home and cut, to open my skin to the relief of the blade.

"Kurt, Blaine. I'm really sorry. For everything. I promise that I'll protect both of you from those assholes in school," Azimio says.

"Th-thanks," I say and practically run out to my car. I hear Blaine yelling after me, but all I can focus on is the burning in my skin. I need to cut, and the faster I get to my car, the faster I can do that. Blaine gets to my Navigator and drives us home.

Before Blaine steps out of the car, he turns to me. "Honey-"

The urge to cut is the strongest yet. I don't wait for Blaine to finish talking. I unlock the car door and run into my house. I race to my en suite and look through my drawers. The closest weapon of relief I find is a razor. I pull up my sleeves and cut.  _Ahhh._  I feel the relief course through me. As I cut, I punish myself for what I am.  _Cut_. Fag _. Cut_. Rapist.  _Cut_. Lady Boy.  _Cut._  Slut _. Cut_. Lady-faced _. Cut._  Whore.  _Cut_. Cheater.  _Cut_. Flirt.  _Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut._  By the time I hear banging on my door and the sound of Blaine and my dad's frantic voices, I have a multitude of cuts on my wrists, thighs, and stomach. I don't stop even though I have limited time. I cut and cut and cut. I make sure all of the cuts are shallow, but deep enough that I can see the glory of my blood. Ah, the joy of the crimson liquid. Just to feel it against my skin is like the feeling of waking up after a million year sleep. My blood flows freely as I cut, and it gives me glorious relief.

I let the tears flow freely as I cut, too. I cry over Karofsky. I cry over those neanderthals. I cry because I hold Blaine back. Because I don't deserve him. God, I'm so fucking weak.

And then the door is opening and the razor is being forced out of my hand. "No! NO! I NEED THAT!" I scream as Blaine picks me up and goes into the kitchen. He puts me down and tries to see what I've done to myself. I push against him, trying to get back up to my room. Blaine tries to hold me back, but I break through his arms and race halfway up the stairs before I get held back again, this time by my dad. "No! LET ME GO! Dad, you don't understand! I NEED TO CUT!" I yell. I hit his chest multiple times, but he doesn't let me down. He puts my wrists under running water in the kitchen sink. I stop fighting back as Blaine takes a wet cloth and starts tending to the wounds on my stomach. He doesn't pull my underwear down, thankfully, even though there's still blood dripping down my legs.

I see Finn and Carole standing in the doorway. Carole looks concerned while Finn looks shocked and kind of scared. "Honey, are you okay?" Carole asks, walking over to me.

"Do I  _look_  like I'm okay, Carole?" I snap at her. She visibly recoils from me. "My whole life os falling apart! I was raped, no one cares about me, neanderthals think  _I_  did it, and now you won't let me cut!" The tears start falling again as Blaine and my dad wrap my stomach and wrists. "God, Carole, I'm s-sorry. I'm so fucking weak. I m-mean, the only thing t-that makes me feel b-better is to fucking hurt myself! I'm justa stupid, slutty, f-faggot. I  _did_  deserve to be r-raped." Carole and Blaine both start crying as I break down.

Finn walks in and envelopes me in a hug. "Oh, Kurt. You're the strongest person I've ever met. You are so amazing, Kurt! I mean, you survived being bullied for so long and being raped, for Christ's sake! And you're not stupid either. You just need to get back up on your feet. And you are definitely not a slut. You love Blaine, your  _only_  boyfriend, and you haven't even lost your virginity yet! And, no, being raped doesn't mean anything, Kurt. And I don't want to hear you call yourself a f-faggot ever again, Kurt. You are amazing and wonderful. I love you. And so do Burt, Carole, and  _especially_  Blaine."

"Th-thanks, Finn," I say, hugging all of them. "I'm sorry, guys."  _For being so stupid and weak._

"Well, I'm going to go call your therapist. Your first session is on Tuesday. But, first, I'm going to remove all of the sharp objects from your room," My dad says.

* * *

After the cutting debacle, the evening was docile. We had a nice, semi-awkward and pitiful family dinner, and now Blaine and I are getting ready for bed. I walk into my bathroom to do my skin regime. I notice a hand mirror on my sink counter.  _Hmm._ I'll need something to cut with. I broke the first mirror to cut the first time.

I turn on the sink to muffle the sound of breaking glass and then pick up the mirror. And throw it on the ground. It shatters into peices the perfect size for cutting. I throw most away, but save a few for later, when I need to cut.


End file.
